Finding Closure
by Eagleye Blackheart
Summary: A trip to Godric's Hollow and down memory lane for Remus and Harry. An unorthodox birthday, and things which should have been said long ago.


_Maurice's note: I bought a leather jacket today for $10 and I do not own Harry Potter nor Remus Lupin, NOR Godric's Hollow, nor anything else mentioned within the Harry Potter books and coincidently also in my story. _

_-------------_

_Dear Remus,_

_I am sorry I haven't written to you for so long. Since the end of term I've been busy making arrangements for my imminent journey to Godric's Hollow. I'm scared actually. I've never visited my parent's grave; I haven't walked in that house since I was small. I don't know what to expect. Hermione and Ron offered to come with me, but I thought that I should make this journey alone. I was wondering though, whether you are busy with work for the Order? Because I think there would be no-one more fitting to accompany me to my parents house than, dare I say it, the last of the Marauders. I'm not sure how you would feel about that, and I'm hesitant to ask in case I upset you, but I think I need someone, if only for my own sake. _

_Harry_

**XOXOXOX**

March 10th 1997

A greying man and an unkempt youth walked side by side down the dirt road which circled around Godric's Hollow, one of the few all-wizard villages left in Britain. Entering the driveway which led up to a ruined dwelling, the two men slowed visibly, as if hesitant to encroach upon such an undisturbed place.

All those living in the area, however, were well aware of the history of that particular building, and knew that although it had a lot of features, undisturbed was hardly one of them. Barely a day would go by without some gawking tourist or another gazing in awe from the fence at the house where Voldemort was defeated for the first time.

Those few neighbours who were out at this early hour of the morning paid these two awkward-seeming visitors no more heed than the usual sightseers. Remus Lupin and Harry Potter, however, were anything but the usual.

**XOXOXOX**

"I'm sorry Remus, I didn't realise it was your birthday today! What a horrible way to spend the day, stuck with me being depressed and visiting a cemetery."

"Don't worry about it, you have every right to be upset today, and I need to make this trip. Birthdays happen every year, and I most certainly don't need to be reminded of my age." Remus fell quiet then, images of a young James filling his head, and feeling gloomy about his own decaying state.

They walked on up the driveway toward Lily and James' old house in Godric's Hollow. Pausing on the front door, Harry muttered "Happy birthday Moony," and pushed the broken door open. Chuckling darkly, Remus followed him inside.

After a detailed tour of the crumbling house, as provided by Remus, the two came across the final room. Remus stopped at the entrance, and seemed reluctant to cross through the doorframe. "This was the nursery. You used to sleep over there," he pointed at a corner of the room. "It was where Hagrid found you." He fumbled over the words, as if trying to hold back emotion.

"So this is where…" Harry trailed off. It was where he had received his scar. There were ominous dark stains on the floor in this room. He wondered if perhaps they were from his parents. No wonder Remus was so choked up. Moving sideways he wrapped his arm around his former teacher's waist; a sign of comfort and affection. Remus leaned into him slightly, taking the offered support, for once not ashamed to have someone's concern.

They stood there for several minutes, until they slowly felt the cold in that damp house penetrating their thin, spring clothing. Taking one last, long look at the room, the two of them headed out the door, satisfied in the fact that they had closure on that particular issue. Neither of them had seen the house since Halloween 1981, and had been experiencing dread over what they may encounter inside.

They had brought a picnic lunch with them, and decided unanimously to sit down in the middle of a small park and eat on the grass before going to the cemetery for the second half of their day's adventures. Unshrinking the sandwiches, they sat in the shade and picked at the food, both lost in their own thoughts.

Harry's head shot up suddenly, a bright smile on his face. Pointing his wand covertly at a nearby rock, he muttered a few choice words and was left looking at an elaborate mud-cake. Waving his wand wildly he managed to conjure up three wonky and mismatched candles, which he placed haphazardly on the cake and lit with the tip of his wand.

Grinning at the sight the birthday cake made, he tapped Remus, apparently still lost in thought, on the shoulder and gestured in the direction of his creation. The older man started in surprise at the chocolate mound, which he had evidently not been expecting, and his face split into a wide smile. "It's been a while since I've had a nice cake," he admitted, amused.

"Well, I don't know how to conjure a knife and plates, so you'll have to make do with the indignity of using your fingers," Harry laughed back.

"Who's the teacher here? I can get the cutlery." Remus replied, swishing his own wand about and ending up with two matching china plates and a silver serving knife.

"Tastes much better than it looks," Harry said happily.

They ate the lopsided dessert in a much more relaxed frame of mind, enjoying the fact that they were each in the company of one of the most important people in their respective lives.

"Listen, Harry," Remus cleared his throat a little nervously. "Listen, I know this might sound a bit odd, but I feel like I really need to say something."

"Go ahead," Harry prompted, smiling lightly to try to help his friend relax again.

"I've been thinking about this for a while, and especially today, seeing the house. I know I'm not in your life all that much, since we're both trying to get our work done for the order. I was your teacher as well, but I feel like we've moved on from that and become friends.

Well, what I'm trying to say is that you may feel like you haven't got anyone to play the role of the parent figure to you, what with Sirius and Dumbledore and your parents, but you should know that I was a marauder, same as Sirius and your father, and I've always thought of you as my own.

So if you're ever feeling like you need someone to talk to, or just be there for you, I'm always here, and I always have been. You're a marauder too Harry, and you're part of me, like a brother and a friend and a son all in one." Remus finished, staring at his hands, face tinged pink.

During Remus' monologue, Harry's stomach had done several flips inside him. Although it was true that he always had Molly and Arthur Weasley to look after him, he had long been wanting to have more contact with the man who had spent so much of his life with Harry's own parents.

As he cut another slice of cake, he said awkwardly "Thanks. I'd actually been thinking along the same lines myself." Flashing Remus an uncertain smile, he wrapped his arm quickly around the other man for the second time that day. Harry suddenly realized he had achieved more than just finding closure that day.

**XOXOXOX**

_Dear Harry,_

_I'm glad you asked me to join you the other day, it was a good thing for me to do, to go back to that house after so long. I hadn't been there since your parents died and although it brought back many memories, it also gave me a sense of peace. _

_I daresay your parents would be very happy with how you turned out, Harry, and I know that I am proud of you. _

_I would like you to know, for the sake of knowing, that when you were first taken to live with the Dursleys, I tried very hard to gain custody over you. Because of my condition, the Ministry would not hear of it, and, unfortunately, even Dumbledore did not approve. I swear to you, Harry, I tried to save you from an awful childhood. Because I'm not sure whether you will believe me when I say that I have always been thinking of you, though I hope you do, I have included a birthday card. I wrote this for your 5th birthday. _

_I hope I can try to make up for my absence henceforth. I'm always here for you, remember that. _

_Love, Remus._

Harry looked inside the envelope and fished out a brightly coloured card with a picture of a cheerful clown adorning the cover.

_Happy 5th Birthday!_ He read.

_Dear Harry, _

_Have a wonderful 5th birthday, Harry. I'm thinking about you on your special day and hoping you received everything you wished for. You're a very special boy and I hope you know how much you mean to many people. I miss you. _

_Uncle Remus_


End file.
